AH called the kids first thing on Easter Saturday and I heard M11 saying that I thought he might not want to come to our ‘adult meeting’ after yesterday. M11 is particularly keen for it to happen as he needs $460 to go on camp in October. I’ve suggested he think of some tasks that he might do to raise some of that money. I don’t believe kids should just be given things like this on a silver platter as life just doesn’t work that way. Until AH gives his okay to M11 doing this, I can’t let him start – hence M11’s enthusiasm.
Meeting is set for 11 am at a local café. At 10:57, he emails:
[M11] told me you wouldn’t be coming to our meeting…I’m at [venue]…are you coming down?
That’s NOT what M11 said! He has misunderstood, or purposely twisted it for his own purposes.
Got an agenda to keep to and, with the words of fellow blogger (euphoriciraqisinglemom) ringing in my ears, my mantra is “Do not attack!”.
His face is like thunder. His auntie has long wanted him to get help for his anger … it might take a while to ignite, but when it does, boy, it’s like Vesuvius. Getting Sputnik breathtested clearly made that volcano blow. No niceities … straight into it:
1. M11’s fundraising
AH wants to just pay his share and ‘has no doubt that I will teach him the lesson‘. Suggest a simple 10-pin bowling hour fundraiser. He refuses outright to stand on a sausage sizzle. I say it’s not fair that my family, neighbours and I are the only ones contributing. Could he let him wash cars [“I’m not standing on a car wash” – explain M11 could wash his and Grolsch’s cars as he’s jumped to the wrong conclusion. Again!]. He eventually stops being so pig-headed and agrees but wants full details first … ie. I have to do all the work.
2. Dutch bit of fluff
Ask why Sputnik is showing Ms6 fotos of the Dutch chick at a BBQ at their place. He denies that Sputnik would’ve done this but does confirm she went there for a BBQ last year. How would Ms6 have known about the photo? Said I don’t care if they’re together, but he’s got to be honest with the kids. It’s a small community. He says he has been honest. I don’t even laugh out loud.
3. Plans for 2 April
He’s meant to be going to his all-day concert in town. I’ve a ladies’ lunch and a party in the evening. Ask who he’s got to look after the kids. He refuses to tell me. I explain I need to know where M9 will be collected from at 4 pm for his 1-on-1 (even though I’m not going to be back in time, I’ll arrange a sleepover). He’ll let me know. Not sure why the secrecy.
4. UK flat
Suggest that if our current proposed buyer won’t let the lease extension notice be assigned to her, we should let her go and get someone in for a 6-mth unfurnished tenancy. We can’t have it sitting empty. He agrees. Woohoo!
5. School notices
Give him this week’s notices as he won’t think to get them online.
6. Consistency between homes
He seriously doesn’t care that routines are so lax at his place. He says he’s going to get in touch with the mediation service and get things changed. No idea what that will entail as I don’t believe that: (a) his work would let him have 5-days a week shortened hours; and (b) it is simply not in the kids’ best interests.
And with that, he leaves.
He texts later that afternoon to let me know that the person he hoped would have the kids on the 2nd can’t have them. I find it hard to believe that, out of that group I’ve moved away from, not one of them could help. There’s good mates right there!
I tongue-in-cheek ask if he’ll have M9 too, seeings he’ll have the other two. Surprised that he agrees.
It’s the last night with my parents and I’m taking the kids away camping with neighbours for a couple of nights. Text AH asking him to put M9’s togs in his letterbox so I can get them on the way out tomorrow.
Easter Bunny visits to the kids’ delight. AH calls to let the kids know he’s heading back to his (stayed at Grolsch’s) to put the togs in the letterbox as he forgot. Also let’s them know he’s got Easter eggs for them. Surprised he isn’t at his house when we get there. All three of them are disappointed. He’s not seen them since 5 pm on Thursday! Why would he not have waited to have said hello/goodbye to them?
And with so many words and heavy eyes, Pt III to follow tomorrow …