If looks could kill, today would be the day AH would’ve taken his last breath. And I would not shed a tear!
He recently got in touch with IRD and appealed the amount of child support he pays. He was actually right to do this, as he was paying for having the kids 2 nights, when he effectively has them 3 (a heads-up would’ve been nice). So that’s going down $240/month.
This week, I got notification that my government support (for being a working mum) will be going down by $94/week. So, each week, I’m going to getting approx $150 less. Things already tight so popped into bank to get the mortgage put onto interest-only to give me a bit of leeway.
Texted him at 2:45 pm yesterday to ask if he’d sign the paperwork. Besides a piddly amount for building insurance, he pays nothing for this house! I pay the mortgage, rates, power, maintenance, everything! But his name’s still on the paperwork.
Kids call me on his phone at 9 am to ask about coming to get soccer gear and gumboots – so I know his phone is working just fine! Good thing Mr Lee wasn’t around.
At 9:55 this morning, I text asking again. And 30-mins later, I text asking if I can get M9 an hour earlier for his 1:1 today. I get … nothing. Nada. Zip!
As the boys were both playing soccer at the same venue, I’d already decided I was going to turn up and surprise them. Think AH was more surprised than them to see me, as 15 mins after Ms6 had run over to see me and tell me he was coaching M9’s team, I got a text from him letting me know just that, saying I could have M9 at 3 pm and that he “will respond to the mortgage in a bit”. We’re on opposite sides of the field so I ask if I should come over to discuss it, and he agrees to “after the game”.
So I wander over at the end. He starts to take the balls and gear up to his car and I have to stop him so we can have the discussion. Kids go get sausages. I typed a summary of the conversation into my phone as soon as I got to the car so I didn’t forget it. No need to read it – I’m documenting it here for my lawyer.
He doesn’t want to sign because of the relationship property and [what he sees as] unfair treatment he’s getting. I asked could he separate the RP from this one issue.
I asked if it was power or control. He said no. He wants me to say I would let more through RP to which I said that’s blackmail.
Told him I don’t have enough money for food. Got “it’s not my problem, it’s not my problem” (well, if I don’t have money for food for our kids, surely that IS YOUR PROBLEM!).
Said in that case, he needs to pay Ma & Pa his $25k – no, he said, that’s RP. I said it could be separated.
I reminded him that it is him, and only him, who got lawyers involved. He is the reason we’re spending a fortune on lawyers and slowing things down as they’re stuck with them.
Said he is prepared to sign it “BUT I need to be fair with the RP”. I need to promise effectively that I will lie down and take as little as possible. He utterly refused to make it simply about me doing what I need to do to survive.
Subsequently called and said he’d sign – yet didn’t do so without issue. Tells me he’s going out on a limb by signing (after firmly telling me to ‘listen to him’ which made me remind him he’s not my father. He’s my ex husband and he doesn’t get to speak to me like that anymore). I had no choice but to agree to his demands ‘to be fair with the RP’ as he was already putting the pen back on the forms. Suffice to say, his definition of fair won’t match mine.
He questioned why a 4-month term. That’s when fixed term ends and will need to be reviewed. I said I hoped London is done as I want him out of everything. Him “so we understand each other”.
He asked what the date was so I let him know. June 18th. The day I was flying up to my niece’s hospital bedside last year. “Oh yeah”, he said, he’d “seen the stuff on Facebook”. Hmmm, he knew today and the next few days are a tough, emotional time for me, yet has no issue throwing this sort of bullshit behaviour at me. No sympathies, or hope you’re ok … just controlling bullshit.
He makes me sick!