As part of this co-parenting malarkey, if AH needs to swap his kid time with me, I will agree – provided I’ve not already got plans. I don’t ask why he needs to swap (but like to know if it’s a work-related reason, to back-up that he doesn’t get the flexibility he claims when he says he can do week on/week off).
I would hope that he would do the same.
Last Friday, I’d been invited to drinks at a mum’s place. Her boy has started in M10’s class and they’re getting on well so I’d introduced myself a few weeks back to her to arrange a play. Have introduced her to a few others with similar aged boys as she’s just moved from Spain/UK and knows no-one. I was going to go by myself – but then I saw her kid and he pleads ‘could M10 comes too’. It’s AH’s time and I’m not due to have 1-on-1 with him until next Saturday, so I suggest a swap which would mean I had two 1-on-1s over 2 consecutive days (and none next week). Nothing out of the ordinary there – or so I thought!
I’m peeved at his words on what 1:1 is meant to entail – that kid still has the benefit of being the only one getting my attention if I take them out on 1:1 time. Being lectured by someone who thinks quality parenting means you play the same game as you sit on separate devices doesn’t sit well with me.
I let M10 know that I still wasn’t sure if it could happen, he tells me (looking a bit fearful) that it wouldn’t be able to happen as Daddy has started Friday football (so the two days he has with the kids, he now plays HIS social netball on one of those nights, and HIS social soccer on the second). Again, I struggle to deal with his parenting advice when he puts his need to socialise above the kids. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Why does it all have to be so hard?! I can’t help feel he knows that I’ve got a party next Saturday, and he thinks I’m manipulating arrangements so that I can go. Unfortunately, he’s jumped to the wrong conclusion once again as I’ve arranged for M10 to have a sleepover with this friend so that I go to the party (yes, we’ll miss our 1-on-1 but M10 will be more excited by the sleepover). My wanting to take M10 was purely because his friend specifically asked, and he said he wanted to come too.
Some 24 hours after I asked, M10 tells me he can come – but he needs to leave at 6:30 pm and I’m to bring his scooter. I suggest AH might pick him up, as he could bring M11 who I haven’t seen for a week. M10 tells me that ‘Daddy had said no’. Next morning, I get an email from AH saying he will pick M10 up so that I can say hi to M11. That’s what I’d suggested!
And the psychological games continue!
Despite all of this crap, when he arrives, I get Ms7 to invite him in to join us for a drink. I can only hope this might lead to better treatment for the goose!
- Stunning weather for the long weekend just passed. Even got into the garden;
- getting M11 back from his camp;
- playing swingball with the kids.