Like father, like son

Best start with last week’s output as I need to make space on my phone ūüôā

With it being AH’s ‘kid-free, party-boy’ weekend just gone, I find myself without any kids on a Monday for a change. ¬†It’s actually a nice start to the week: not having to think about what to cook for dinner or whether I have enough bits in the fridge to fill 3 lunchboxes. ¬†It’s been a pretty full-on weekend so thought I might get some chores done but have just found it more beneficial to relax and enjoy the peace!

AH’s time with the kids started at 3 pm on Thursday. ¬†They’d all been happy at the end of my ‘shift’ – including M10 who’d accepted his punishment handed down by AH for deceiving him and installing Instagram¬†behind his back (thought I’d posted about it but must’ve dreamt that. ¬†[Long story short, despite being told that, at 10 years old, he was too young to install it, he did so while over at AH’s ex-colleague’s (the one with the 2-faced beyotch missus and Spawn of Satan son). ¬†AH got him to delete it but the following Tuesday, M10 tells me he’s installed it (I hadn’t been told about the first instance, at this stage). ¬†I let AH know and shit hits the proverbial]).

I got a call at work from M10 in tears at 3.17 pm. ¬†‘Daddy’s really angry’ with him. ¬†He didn’t want to stay there and wanted to come to me; would I come and pick up him? ¬†Turns out AH was still fuming about the Instagram issue (his anger¬†is enhanced as it happened on his time AND I found out¬†about it). ¬†Spend a good 10 minutes telling him that Daddy loves him and they’d both be upset if they missed out on their time together. ¬†Also that I wouldn’t be happy if Daddy came and got him when he was upset¬†so I wouldn’t do it to him unless he was being hurt. ¬†Reiterate what I’ve already said: that he needs to take responsibility for his actions and ask how he can make it better with AH. ¬†He’s so upset but at least is listening. ¬†Then I hear AH in the background telling him to get off the phone coz they’re leaving – to bring him to me.

Within 10 minutes, M10 is dumped at my work. ¬†AH doesn’t even wait to ensure that I’m there. ¬†He’s gone. ¬†Good thing my boss is flexible! ¬†Spend some time speaking with him then head back to mine to pick up some stuff. ¬†He’s fine so I take him back to AH’s. ¬†At one stage, M10 says he’s worked out why AH was so angry: apparently he had to get up at 5 am to do work so he was tired. ¬†Let M10 know that, under NO circumstances, should he try and put the blame on AH. ¬†That would not end well.

As we drive up his road, M10 starts crying again, scared of how AH is going to be. ¬†Again, tell him just to let him know he did wrong, he loves him and that he won’t do it again … and to mean it!

AH meets him outside the front door and starts bollocking him: “If you ever say you don’t want to be here again, I will just take you away” [WTH!!]. ¬†I get out of the car and make it obvious that I’m watching what’s going on so thankfully, when M10 cries and tells AH he loves him, AH calms down, tells him he loves him too, they hug and go inside, closing the door behind him. ¬†I didn’t even get to see M11 and Ms7 who were inside, which was unusual – they usually run out.

The following day, when I took M10 to his athletics day, he was already starting with the attitude and just wasn’t himself. ¬†Not really surprised since his father told him he’d take him away if he spoke out in anger and hurt again. ¬†I know it’s not nice to hear those words from your kids but AH’s response was immature, unreasonable, insensitive parenting.

I back AH up on banning M10 from devices. ¬†I don’t agree with the ban as M10 had owned up to what he did and seemed to understand he, and he alone, made that choice. ¬†At that stage, I hadn’t been told that it was the second time he’d installed it. ¬†That little titbit of information would’ve had me supporting the ban. ¬†Come Friday evening, we’re at a friends and all the boys but M10 are on devices so I text AH to ask how long the ban is in place for – knowing full well that he would let M10 go back on within minutes of getting them back on Sunday. ¬†My god! ¬†He really is an ignorant prick! ¬†

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New Moon

Struggling to sit down at the end of the night and put words onto screen. ¬†I don’t know why … it’s not like there’s not stuff to say. ¬†I think part of me is just tired of saying it.

At yoga this morning, I learnt it was the time of the new moon.  As opposed to full moon (when everything goes a bit crazy), this is a time for inward reflection.  It was perfect timing as have found the mind chatter to be on high speed recently Рand not about AH but about me, the way I am and my shortcomings.

Interesting to see on Google that it’s actually the Scorpio new moon that’s just passed.

While Scorpio is associated with control, dominance, and intensity, it bears an incredibly powerful and spiritual energy, too. Scorpio is the ruler of transformation, making this lunation extra powerful when it comes to shifting parts of our lives that have been‚ÄĒuntil now‚ÄĒpreviously blocked.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-27381/tonights-halloween-new-moon-in-scorpio-is-the-most-powerful-of-the-year-this-is.html

One thing is screaming very loudly to me from this article: ¬†I must, as soon as practicable, find myself a Scorpio man :). ¬†Funnily enough, I always saw myself with a Scorpio, yet don’t think I’ve ever been out with one. ¬†Sounds like I’ve missed out on so much.

So, now I’ve eliminated 11/12ths of the male population from my potential dating circle!

I found it also interesting to read that I should now be ’embracing the urge to merge’. ¬†With London sold and monies sitting with the lawyers to be divided up, it’s been something very much on my mind. ¬†My mortgage payments have gone up (having come off an interest-free period while getting London sorted) and AH will not tolerate any approach to get his signature to extend this arrangement … despite him not having to pay those payments. ¬†Even before reading this tonight, I had written to my lawyer to get things finalised and set up a meeting with a broker so that, if AH agrees to what we suggest, we can move immediately to buy him out and get him off the deeds to this place. ¬†It will be mine, all mine (holes in wall, broken guttering, rats in ceiling and all!).

I’m very nervous about how AH is going to react to the letter my lawyer¬†sends. ¬†I’m prepared to¬†go down to a 65:35 split and to increase the cost of the house from by $23k. ¬†If he wants to be a prick (and the chances are high!), he could come back that the insane housing market now dictates the house is worth a further $40k. ¬†He knows that my lawyer had suggested we go for 80:20 at one stage so either he will: (a) appreciate my¬†attempt at compromise; or (b) wonder what I’m playing at, knowing that a greater split was a possibility, and come back refusing to move from his 60:40.

It’s his chance to show that he can do the right thing. ¬†Time will tell, I suppose.

Positives:

  1. Discovering that it’s a good time for inward reflection;
  2. going to a friend’s 40th on Saturday and the tunes were brilliant. ¬†Danced til the calves could take no more; and
  3. as much as I hate Halloween, I relented and let the kids go last night (sorry, as it’s not a NZ tradition, it just strikes me (in this area, at least) as a bunch of white privileged kids wanting more than they already have). ¬†They know it’s the only time I will let them go on my shift … but they all insisted on giving me a whole little bag of my own stash. ¬†They’re such good kids!