The economic gap between AH and I is large. He is on a 6-figure salary; I earn a fifth of it. Yes, I still do fun stuff (eg music fest on the weekend, out with friends) but if I didn’t do that, I’d become a hermit and go nuts. I mean, even more nuts!
But the house needs work. I need new shoes as the last ones were worn until they had holes in them and HAD to be binned. The car needs a warrant. And I can’t remember the last time I did a proper grocery shop – you know, the type where you do a full list for the whole week and the cupboards are fully stocked afterwards.
Today, he emails to ask for the boys on Sunday so he can sort their soccer registration. We haven’t had a proper discussion on it as I am loathe to bring it up – he’ll call me ‘controlling’. The last time it was touched on, I said I didn’t have money to pay for the fees, and that I was still owed $150 for the kids’ school expenses. He said ‘he’ll sort it’ and I’ve not heard more. Both boys need boots too so presume he’ll pick up the tab…. ?!
He asked yesterday whether I’d be taking the kids to my parents in the July school holidays. I hadn’t thought that far ahead but, with my parents taking all the family to Melbourne in April for a few nights, questioned whether would be excessive/pretentious to go the subsequent holidays too.
“Haha….that’s funny…the children aren’t coming with”
Well, excuse me!! But he asked if I’d work around him ‘during the school holidays’! Surely, given how much he wants things to be fair and to have as much time with the kids as possible, a logical conclusion to jump to would be that he would be taking them with on a trip during school holidays!!!
The fact that he has enough money to spend on a trip to Australia irks me. But I decide to work with him so there’s some to-ing and fro-ing about the dates; especially trying to work in the 1-on-1s.
He gets Ms7 for 1-on-1. She returns for her wetsuit and boogie board (that my parents bought for Xmas 2015). I let her take the wetsuit but question how I’d get the boogie board back (bearing in mind, I still don’t have M12’s fleece that I lent AH), so she can’t take it. That’s all ok – as she comes back ½-an-hour later and informs me that Daddy has just bought them all boogie boards, including a $99 one for him.
Boys also let me know at dinner that him and skank are going away this [kid-free] weekend to do the Tongariro Crossing (an alpine walk I’ve wanted to do for a while now … probably not so much while we were together as he sucked the life and motivation out of me).
This on the tail of his $500 dive course. And buying a 2nd-hand PS3. And a new tele. And a NutriNinja. And the laptop. And the tablet. And the sound system-thingie. And … And … And …
So I’m a bit pissed off. Yes, there’s a touch of jealousy that he’s moved on, but I find there’s two other things needling me much more:
i) that he’s actually getting off his butt and doing stuff now; and
ii) the money that he’s spending without a second thought.
I’m hurt and decide it’s not fair that he can flash his money around impressing all and sundry (well, my kids and the new bit of fluff), while I struggle. He is the reason the house and relationship property hasn’t been sorted so why should it be smooth-sailing for him. Bugger your holiday to Oz, AH:
This is too hard at the moment. Can we get the RP sorted? That needs to be the priority.
Today, I’m grateful for:
- M12’s orthodontist saying his teeth are getting more space and falling into place;
- Fresh air at the beach with boys after dinner; and
- Getting to see Ms7 wake up this morning – that gorgeous stretch and cute face 🙂