God, I know my ex well.  Didn’t I say that the kids will come back with a alteration to his agreeing to trial the longer time he’d get with 2 of them on a Sunday?!

Friday evening.  Check my emails:

We wont be doing the 1pm drop off on Sunday as its not fair.

Ive shown the children how unfair it actually is so that they understand.
Ill be dropping them at 8am this Sunday but I and the children still want a fairer split together.

I’d love to see what he’s used to ‘show’ them: zen graph, PowerPoint, …?

Three sentences … and each one mentions “fair” .  I have no doubt he also used that word a number of times while he gave his presentation to the kids.  Little wonder it’s a word they are often regurgitating to me.

Now his latest lawyer’s letter stated accusations about my holding adult conversations with the kids, and my supposed manipulations.

Hmmm … not sure that his sitting down with them and getting them to change their minds about the new arrangement does not tick both the boxes that I’m accused of.  That the choice they each made was completely ignored because the new arrangement didn’t suit HIM.  He couldn’t see that having extra time with two of the kids was better than no change?  He couldn’t see that the kids wanted this extra morning and I suggested it as THEY wanted it.  He wasn’t prepared to discuss his concerns – it simply went from “I’m not happy but I will trial it” to ‘it aint’ happening’.  Real mature, AH!  As always.

Disappointed for Ms7 as, with AH agreeing that the new regime could start tomorrow and as I’d not have the boys, had planned to take her and her little sleepover mate to see Ballerina.  Checked the movies and Monster Trucks has started so ring AH to speak to the boys to see if they’d be keen to see that.  He didn’t answer the call so organise that the boys will go to a neighbour and Ms7 can still get what she asked for.  He will not control nor break me!

Great night with a couple of girl mates last night: one who spent 9 months in the courts deciding the fate of her two boys (also married a crazy, controlling, cheating, south african).  Some great advice given by her about the court process and moving forward, ie remove the emotions, working out where I might be prepared to compromise in court and where I have no movement, don’t ask the kids anything about what they get up to at his, get a diary in the car and one in the house and one at work so that, at any moment he does/says something, it’s recorded.

It’s been a lovely night with Ms7 and her BFF.  AH will give me grief as, in his eyes, I’m not ‘honouring the sanctity of 1-on-1’.  He doesn’t recognise that she’s still getting quality time with me … and not having to share my energy or attention with her brothers.  The focus is purely on her and her mate having a nice time.  His feeble attempts to still control are pathetic.

Grateful for …

  1. Big cuddles from M10;
  2. Heat in the sun; and
  3. Much laughter with honest members of the sisterhood last night.

2 thoughts on “Twist

  1. Oh Struth. What a frustration. It’s so hard co-parenting with an arse, isn’t it? British AH also throws fair (and reasonable) into every correspondence: shame his conception of it (as with your AH) is utterly wrong.

    Glad you had good times with MS7 and your pals.

    Keep strong my lovely pal xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • The ridiculousness of it all is that if he simply ASKED a question rather than jump to his misguided conclusions, or bothered to communicate with me with a semblance of respect, it would be so hard … for all 5 of us. But his inner narcissist would never see that.

      Hope all going ok with you, SS xxx


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