What a crazy few days! Tonight is the first night since Wed that I’ve sat down at the end of a night. It’s been great fun, but it is nice to have the legs up.
Recapping the past few days:
Thurs was my birthday. Woohoo. Happy Born-Day, me! Changeover day but at least started with wishes from the boys on waking. AH had refused to come get them, stating “your turn to drop them” but gave no timings so figured he was happy to get them when we got there. I’d already arranged that I could have them for lunch so texted him at 09:20 to check if I was getting them from his or from their mate’s, who’d invited them to play (M12 had called AH first thing to let him know they were invited and they wanted to go). AH, in his privileged way, actually replied that I had made the arrangements for the play and he was waiting for me to let him know what was happening. Why the hell would I make plans for the boys on his time!? I mean, COME ON!! He has this kid’s dad’s details so needed to be the one to make arrangements. I’m not his personal assistant anymore! At that stage, he also lets me know that he has an appointment “in 15 mins” and “… if [Ms7’s] not here when I leave, I’ll let you know when I’m back so you can drop her off. I also have another appointment at 1.30pm [on my asking if 1 pm was ok for me to get them]. What time will you drop them off?”
I collect Ms7 from her sleepover and get to his at 09:50. He’s not there. I let him know I’ll take them to my work as he’s abandoned them. I just don’t get why he insisted on me dropping them back, when he’d made an appointment and therefore had a time limit. Surely it would’ve made sense for him to have collected them? Or, at least, let me know in advance that he would be going out .. ?!
I unwrap the kids’ present. Boy, did that make me feel flat: a massive chocolate bunny. It would’ve been in the Easter egg clearance rack at 50%+ off. Not even a birthday card. Ms7 tells me she didn’t want to buy it – it was M10’s idea. I don’t imagine AH got himself involved in the process at all.
I’m not going to let it bother me. He’s a prick and it’s my birthday!
Just after 11, he texts to ask if I’ll drop the boys to their mate’s after lunch. Well, hell no! Not after the shit you’ve given me already!
I go to pick up the kids for a birthday lunch with me and he actually comes out carrying Ms7 in his arms. Eugh! Extremely faux, OTT “hi – hope you’re having a good day” (without mentioning the words ‘happy’ or ‘birthday’) but asks if I’ll drop the boys to their play on my way back to work. “No dear. I’ll drop all 3 back to you after lunch”. He tries to embarrass me into being his chauffeur but fails miserably.
Have a nice lunch with the kids and just after 2pm, drop them back. WTH!! He’s not bloody there! Second time today! Again, I take the kids to my work so he can collect them after his appointment (and let him know ‘my babysitting rates are reasonable @ $20/hr so let’s just call it $10’ – he didn’t respond to this).
My God! Where to start?! Turns out the morning appointment was with his bank. The afternoon: the doctor. So, on a day where he’s supposedly ‘working from home’ (as a public servant, whose wage is paid by my taxes), he books two personal appointments. I have no issue with this (well, except for that ‘ripping off the taxpayer’ thing), but to not communicate his timings with me … ?! It beggars belief.
Off to a concert with Mr Muso that night which was great – old NZ band from the 80s/90s. All-in-all, other than having to speak direct to AH, a great birthday!
Fri: work then drove north to meet up with Mr Lee. Despite the campsite being flooded, managed to stay under the canopy of trees with no-one else around, and wake to native birdsong.
Sat: a good mate’s daughter’s 4th birthday party so, despite having no kids, headed there. I had M10 for 1-on-1 so gave him the choice of what he wanted to do: go get a movie and head home, or go to the party. He was adamant: back to the party. I don’t care that AH will give me grief about lack of a “quality 1-on-1”. M10 made the choice – not me. We stayed over there and left a bit late so missed AH dropping the other 2 at mine, so I got them to take them back to his and I’d collect them from there; 10 mins late.
Today: M12 got back here in a strange mood. Very upset. Saying he has no friends here. AH had gone drinking on Friday and left them with a babysitter, so perhaps it was a late night that made him so emotional (he tried to say, they were in bed at 7.30pm, but Ms7 said otherwise). I took the kids to check out a 4-bed house about a 20 min drive away. Have stressed to them I’m not buying it; I’m just curious to see what’s out there as M12 is getting too big to have to share a room. M10 shocked me when I said where the house was … “I don’t want to move there, it’s too Maori”. Where the hell did any of my kids get a racist attitude like that from?
Overpriced for it’s state and location but kids all got very excited when they saw it; especially that they’d have their own rooms. Already discussing who would have which room.
AH will fume when he hears that I looked at a house away from here. With any luck, he will get a letter this week from my lawyer. Mr Muso (who would call himself a recovering control freak) has said AH will HATE my new approach as it takes the control out of AH’s hands – and that’s completely the right move!
- the kids not completely dismissing the idea of moving away;
- Mr Lee – he knows what to do and gets me out of my comfort zone; and
- good friends who made me feel special on my birthday.