At 8pm last night, AH texted to say he’d arranged another dad to take M10 to his game so M12 would stay with him. That’s great. You’ll forfeit seeing his last game of the season to avoid me having extra time with the other 2?!
At half-9, there’s another text asking me to put M10’s soccer boots in the letterbox. I let him know they’re not here and that he can use M12’s shinpads, ie no need to come here in the morning.
So was surprised to be woken by M10 knocking on the door and window at 9am this morning. I’m full of cold and am peeved that he’s brought the kids round, so I ignore it. Little bugger goes and gets the spare key from the neighbour and lets himself in. I’m wrong to take out my annoyance towards AH to M10 but I tell him his boots aren’t here. He knows I’ve bought him soccer boots for his birthday so he says he’ll use them. ‘No, you won’t’ I say and that he needs to leave.
AH then rings and starts yelling at me to let M10 in to find his boots. I remain calm and ask him to stop speaking to me the way he’s doing: “I can shout at you. You shouted at M10; M12 heard it from the car” (I dispute that as my throat wouldn’t have let me!). I’m not having it … so hang up!
I get M12 at 4 pm for 1-on-1. M10 doesn’t come out so he’s still fuming about this morning. That doesn’t come as a surprise: I actually expected that M12 would say he didn’t want his 1-on-1 (and apparently AH asked him if he wanted it to still take place. He chose yes). Ms7 comes for cuddles and lets me know that starting Thurs, M10 is only living with Daddy. Apparently (and both Ms7 and M12 are there to say how the conversation went down) AH said he was sick of hearing about issues they have with me so did they want to stay with him only. M10, funnily enough while still angry with me, says ‘yes’. Ms7 says ‘no’ as she’d miss me. M12 is ‘in the middle’.
OMG! These discussions are NOT to be had with the kids! How could he not know that?! They have their lawyer. He is the one who asks these questions … not me and not AH!
M10 comes in the car – face like thunder. I tell him I looked for his boots and they weren’t there, and I let AH know that. He shouldn’t have been brought around. What I don’t say (will leave it for another day), is that he needs to be responsible for getting his property back to AH’s as required. I am constantly telling him to put bits in a bag by the front door. He doesn’t. I am not his slave and he is old enough to better self-manage. Ms7 repeats that M10 is going to live with AH from now on, so I say I will miss him. He storms back into AH’s.
I ask M12 why he thinks living at AH’s will be better. He can’t answer. I ask how often are they complaining about stuff that’s gone on at my house, as I didn’t think it a regular occurrence. ‘Not often: today and the college form …’.
The entire past 2½ years, that ass has allowed himself to be drawn into issues from my house. He’s allowed the kids to play him, to a degree. Rather than say: “what goes on at Mama’s house doesn’t concern me”, he says “tell me more. What did she say? Ooh that’s terrible. Would you like to stay here, away from that mean Mama witch” [ok, I might have ad libed]. Unless it’s a real health or safety issue, he should keep out of it – as I do if they bring things up from AH’s house.
I’m even more peeved that he creates situations, then sits back and makes me the baddie. M12 should not have been told about the college form, but he put him completely in the middle and I copped his wrath. He could’ve followed up the texts last night when I said the boots weren’t here. But he ignored that, turned up unwelcome, and now I’m dealing with son’s wrath again. He really does enjoy pulling the pin, then running for cover. It’s disgusting!
- sunshine! Being able to mow some of my lawns;
- getting my CDs boxed and into the garage; and
- M12 being open about the conversation with AH, rather than doing his usual protecting him.