Still here!

It’s been a while.  Haven’t posted as have been busy getting house ready for sale … and must say, got a bit distracted with Cat Evolution!  OMG.  What the hell?  Mid-40s and finding sanity with an app that does nothing to improve me or humanity … or even the feline population of the world.

But it does give my mind a break from reality.  And perhaps that’s just what I need, right now.

AH is still being a bell-end (ie calling every evening when I have the kids, refusing to do anything to get this house ready for sale, contribute to costs for the kids).  I’m tired and exhausted and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to do before I go to my parents for Xmas next Friday.  Too much to do.  Too little time.

Also still questioning myself way too much.  Came across an interesting piece the other day that’s got my mind a whirr:  Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).  Oddly, I don’t believe I was neglected or emotionally stunted by my parents .. but as I read through this particular article, and did the quiz where I answered most with a ‘yes’, I thought .. ‘holy shit.  That’s me!’.  I need to read more about it as I’d hate to unwittingly be putting that onto my kids …

I resent that I can’t just put time aside for me and self-improvement and relaxation … as, if I don’t have the kids, I have to be decluttering/sanding/cleaning.  AAARRRGGHH!!!!  Drives me nuts that someone else has that luxury!

OK.  Off to bed.  Was just checking in and reminding myself to keep on top of this.

Grateful for:

  1. my offer being accepted and feeling (HOPING!) that new life is a little bit closer;
  2. getting Ms8’s room cleared out and looking FAB!; and
  3. a week to get myself in order.