Finally heard from my lawyers today addressing the transfer of the UK monies and, separately, the relocation/house sale. Neither made me jump for joy. In fact, I feel a bit sick to my guts!
I like these lawyers as they’re not vicious rottweilers. They take longer to respond than I’d like, but I value their advice when they do.
Re the UK funds, their voice of sanity tells me:
… there is little point in either you or [AH] criticising the other for delays in the transfer of the funds in circumstances where the exchange rate is so volatile …
On my parents claiming interest on their loan, they confirm they’d have legal right to do so from the date of demand to the date of repayment, but they haven’t researched it in depth as AH has agreed to pay them. Forget that he messed me around and the rate dropped that we lost £5k overnight. To fight this might well incur more expense than any interest earned.
Like I’ve said, very balanced.
The relocation/house sale response got me though. We’d spoken about the proposed path (ie relocate a 40min drive away, rather than 6½ hours towards my family). They said it would look bad if he proposed buying the house once I suggested putting it on the market – as he is only renting and could also look further north too.
But today’s email:
However you should brace yourself for a proposal by [AH] that he acquire [‘my’] property and if that is the case we expect that he will oppose your proposed move as well … [AH] buying the former family home would be a factor [which] would weigh against the Court approving a relocation.
They actually suggest I buy AH out, along with going for a 65:35 compromise (he wants 60:40; my preference, given all the shit he’s thrown my way the past 2 years on top of my support in him getting his degree and it being my savings that paid the deposit on this house as well as the UK property, is 70:30).
Again, their voice of reason says:
You need to be careful that you don’t spend too much money on this issue given the relatively modest amount involved and bearing in mind that [AH] has already offered a 60/40 split.
I’m confused as to where to go from here. I’ve been hoping that a court will see through his BS and the truth will prevail. In my mind, that means I’d get to take the kids away from here (I’ve compromised and only looking to move a couple of towns away). I want it in the court’s hands.
I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow as my skin has gone ballistic – I am ripping myself to shreds. The stress I am being caused is not healthy for me. I want out of here! … [without wanting to sound like a petulant child] …NOW!
If I buy him out, I could do the work it needs then put it on the market without having to involve him. Potentially, I could make a, say, $30k profit. But I’d still be in a house that’s too small for us, in a community I don’t want to be in, and still want to get the kids into different schools. Relocation would still be my desire.
By that time, he might’ve purchased a house (he won’t go far from his brother). And surely that would cement my being stuck here.
With the RP ratio, each 5% reduction costs me about $15k. I’m loathe to compromise as I firmly believe my input deserves 70%. But would a court see it the same way? Would fighting it just cost me more than $15k? Why didn’t that ass just let me buy him out in May last year when I proposed it!?
[That’s right! Coz then he’d have lost control and we can’t have that, can we?!].
I’m leaning towards: (a) agreeing to get the money out of the UK now, less my monies and taking a hit on the lowered exchange rate; (b) putting the house on the market and risk him saying he’ll buy it [I’ll insist it has to go to auction to determine the sale price]; (c) going for relocation [still to the closer town, unless he fights it then I’ll go for closer to my family]; and (d) offering the 65:35 compromise.
I still feel I’m getting shafted though. It doesn’t feel fair…
But I don’t suppose anything in this process is meant to be.
- M10 and Ms7 getting on really well while M12 is on 1-on-1;
- NZ winning the America’s Cup; and